Crooked but Real....

This is my family room tree--it looks decidedly crooked in this picture--it's a REAL tree, so I suppose it's not as symmetrical as the fake ones. I must say, for the first three hours after we got the tree I just sat and inhaled....it's amazing how many memories come flooding back when I smell Christmas trees. Christmastime in our house was beyond imagination..

We put the tree up, then had some issues with lights, so we didn't decorate the tree for a few days. In the meantime, I had the kids put ribbon hangers on the new ornaments. The shatterproof, glitter encrusted ornaments ended up being thrown around the room for a few days......

By the time we decorated the tree late one night, glitter was in the cracks and crevices of of every part of the family room...I woke up early the next day and rushed to an early orthodontist appointment for Holly.

Enter in DR. GREEN...
Dr. Green is in his early 60's. He's unlike an orthodontist I have ever known.....EVERY woman who works for him is literally a plastic barbie doll---perfect teeth, boob jobs, etc...I mean, it is UNBELIEVABLE. Every time I go there, I have to actually dress and put make-up on on the off chance I'll see him...you must understand...... I may not like the "Dog and Pony show" that goes on in his office, but I'm not going in there looking like a mutt!
So---Dr. Green just HAPPENED to come out of his office as I was walking by. (sigh)
Dr. Green is the type that stands just a little TOO close when talking to someone, and he's always telling me what a calm and self-assured mom I am, which of course draws big red flags, since I doubt I give off that impression....

The conversation (after the small talk) went as follows:

Dr. G: I like what you've done with your make-up
Me: (in bewildered embarrassment) What do you mean??
Dr. G:--(reaching out toward my face with a smile to outline a specific area) The glitter you've put on. It's very festive.
Me: (in utter mortification) Haha. Uh.....I just finished decorating my tree--the glitter must have rubbed off on my face...

I then showed him the ugly stepsisters (these are my bottom teeth, which have become crooked despite two rounds of braces). At this point, I figured, WHY NOT? He's already breathing down my throat--I might as well get some free orthodontic advice!

Now....I could write about how, me, with my crooked teeth is much like my real, yet flawed Christmas tree.
I could say that like a real Christmas tree, the "real" me will have much richer and deeper experiences than one of those fake, perfect looking women working at Dr. Green's office.

I won't.

My retainer comes on Monday.

Merry Christmas to Me!